Two poems ‘On a Pedestal Up in a Cage’ and ‘Sunlight’

Rosalind Weaver

 

On A Pedestal Up In A Cage

The weight

of rape

is about eight eight

any less is implosion

so either deny it space

or fill it with hate

on the days

I think

that’s all that makes

up my body.

 

The date

of rape

is the second

or the last weekend in June

or overnight stays

and security gates

staying up late

because you can’t sleep

and bottles of cava

and tops patterned with tartan

and saying no

when unhooking your bra

at the start

you always remember saying no.

 

The taste

of rape

is stale sweat on a plate

and peanut butter jam sandwiches

as the first thing you ate

as you try to convince yourself

it wasn’t that bad

it just wasn’t that great

and you wore red underwear

so it must have been fate,

the taste

of rape

is shame.

 

The time

of rape

was thrice

between eight and eight

what a coincidence

that was also your weight

it’s a blur in slow motion

I think that summarises the notion

of trauma.

 

The name

for rape

is apportioning blame

to ourselves

for an act

where we were defamed

and social outcry

when we dare to show rage

and the moral irony

that our supposed lack of fight

got us here in the first place,

put on a pedestal

up in a cage.

 

The name

for rape

is one in five women.

The blame

for rape

is the rapist.

---

Sunlight

You can’t trust the weather

to keep you dry;

it has a thousand different moods

and just like you

it has to rain sometimes,

with Mother Earth’s tears

collapsing the sky

as you try

to hold the world up

and pretend everything is fine.

 

You survived the thunderstorm

but the lightening struck your heart;

its current blasted

through your body parts

and blew the fuse

that gave your life its spark,

leaving echoes of your former self

to search for meaning

in the grieving

of the stumbling dark.

 

Through what seems

like endless night

the storm will clear the way for stars;

each one is a person’s wish

that you may know

how not alone you are,

so go outside, and with your hands

pluck the stars and hold them tight

until inside your chest, warmth spreads,

and you will find

there’s sunlight.

---

Biography

I am a poet and spoken word performer from the North of England who began writing in 2017 and performing in 2018. I have been published in Catalogue of Failure, Dear Damsels, Whisper and the Roar, Morality Park, as well as the poetry anthologies ‘Further Within Darkness and Light’ (published by Nothing Books) and ‘Essential Existentialism’ (published by CTU Publishing Group). In summer 2018 my pieces were displayed and performed at the London multimedia exhibitions ‘The Sunlight Project’ and ‘Testimony’. I have also performed at Manchester based spoken word night ‘That’s What She Said’ and Grrrlizm Arts Fest.

You can find my work at www.undercompulsionpoetry.com